Friday, August 1, 2008

Confession

I obviously didn't write this - it's a copy of Ferarro's confession, because you can't find it anymore. I'm just hosting it temporarily here.

This is your moment and every single minute you spend
try to hold onto it
, 'cause you may never get it again.
So while you’re in it try to get as much shit as you can

and when your run is over just admit when its at its end."


-Eminem, "Till I Collapse"


Well, it finally happened.

Took over half a decade, but it finally happened. There's quite the flooding of news everywhere around the net about how Ferraro isn't really the girl in all the pictures and videos and interviews (who's real name is Sarah Townsend), which is usually followed by vicious trolling and flaming - and rightfully so, as I can imagine. But before we come clean about the whole business, there are a few things to get out of the way. Because the truth is actually complicated.

• Paladin Schmaladin is written by one author at a time.

• There have been seven "Ferraro's" running this blog throughout the last five and a half years.

• Two have been male.

• One was from a European server.

• The original Ferraro stopped writing around late September '07. She still plays, but isn't involved with this site anymore.

• Paladin Schmaladin has been handed off over the years through a series of calls, emails and basically, swearing to protect each other and never revealing information.

• We run other WoW blogs, as well.

So then, who...?
Ever wonder why her voice in the podcast "interview," her Ninja Rap, and her Mods and Addons Tutorial post sounded nothing alike? Different Ferraros.
Ever wondered how she suddenly started working for Blizzard out of the blue? That's 'cause I actually do, and when I took over this this blog, it was the perfect avenue for me to share insider information while remaining safe behind a 5-year-old moniker.
For those of you who spoke with a Ferraro in Vent, did her voice change one time? It was a different girl.
Have you sat back and saw this blog's writing style differ over the years? Now you know why (the 4th Ferraro was particularly ah, emotional).
How did she have an internship at the CIA, as well? Also a different Ferraro.
And if Ferraro didn't get on Vent during your raid, it was likely when one of the guy "Ferraros" were in charge. Or it was during an author switch.

All were world-class Paladins and experts at the game - just completely different people at one time or another.

Why? I mean... why??
In the beginning? As in why was the picture used in the very first place? I can't answer that accurately. I really, truly wish I could, but I wasn't there when it happened. As previously mentioned, I'm only it's most recent author and the only reason I know that this blog kept going was what the last writer told me: Thousands of people read it every day for information and help and advice (14k+ daily, actually), and we all believed that such an awesome tool to help people shouldn't stop. The charade - i.e the beautiful Sarah Townsend - had to continue because that's who everyone trusted and recognized after such a long time. But I don't know why the fake picture started in the first place, years ago. Kinda like finding out Santa Claus isn't real; the secret was broken to me by the previous Ferraro when I was handed this blog (disappointed me, too).

And you are?
Yes, I'm female, in case you're curious. And married. And, as with the previous six "Ferraros", I have a Paladin as a main. All the videos and and posts and information I've shared over the past five months have been from me. The email theblueaffair@hotmail.com was the original Ferraro's email, but it simply turned into a packaged deal with the blog. Which is why it's evolved from a personal inbox into a place where people send questions and requests for advice and add-ons. All personal email, however, was forwarded to the appropriate "Ferraro." For example, if I saw an email from NubDK55 and I saw his email was on Ferraro #3's contact list, it would send it there. So all personal replies you sent and received via email went to and came from the appropriate corresponding Ferraro.

Who plays the Alexstrasza Ferraro in game now?
I believe that's the third Ferraro, from '08.

Who did the Twitter?
Same person who did the blog at the time.

Who's AIM is ablueaffair?
Whomever the author of Paladin Schmaladin is at the time.

So why that girl, Sarah Townsend?
To be honest, I have no idea. I'm not even sure the original Ferraro keeps track of this blog anymore, and no one's reached her yet (although she'll probably hear about this by week's end). Maybe she knew Sarah Townsend? I dunno. Probably not. The original Ferraro is actually very attractive though, so maybe she just chose it to... hide behind... while still... being... pretty? I don't know. I'm just assuming. But the first Ferraro had a problem with stalkers. *shrug*

And for posterity's sake, Sarah Townsend had nothing to do with this blog and is actually a great person from the looks of it. Smart, intelligent, charming and beautiful, she really is the legitimate internet geek "Ferraro" was. Props to Sarah for being a good sport about this, and for what it's worth, she was never slandered or had pictures of her used in a bad way on this blog. Sarah's likeness was handled with class and maturity (well, except for the whole being fake thing.) Silver lining, I suppose.

How do we know all of this isn't a lie?
That would be akin to coming clean and admitting to stealing a car, then robbing a bank, murdering policemen and civilians, and taking off with millions of dollars... and then in court swearing you had your seat belt on. Kinda moot at this point.

Honestly, if anything it probably would be easier to say, "Yup, that was all me. My bad. Anyway, moving on..." But I figure since we're coming clean, it might as well be in total.

So how fucked are you?
Pretty fucked, really. Like I said, it's been going on for over five years now, and the seven of us all knew that at some point the truth was going to come to light - it is the internet after all. This should have happened a long time ago. I mean, it kinda sucks that it had to happen on my watch, but that was the risk we all understood when we agreed to hand over the blog from one another. It was kinda like playing hot potato: the longer you play and pass it around, the closer it gets to blowing up in your face. I probably have to step down now, but if someone else takes over and continues the guides and tips and videos (sans the Sarah girl, of course) then more power to them. They'll probably have a lot less stressful time than we did, now that they don't have to keep up the muse. I won't speak for the others, but I think this is a good thing, and personally I'm glad it's over.

Now what?
Well... I have no idea. If you take away the fake pictures, like many people have said, this has been a premier quality site for Paladins, both advanced and beginners alike. We get over a thousand emails a week thanking us for the blog and asking us for advice. I shut down this blog for a few days to discuss with the others past authors where we should go and they basically said it's up to me. Which kinda sucks, 'cause I'd like to get the original Ferraro's opinion on this, since it's technically hers. But since I'm the current one, if I had a choice I'd just leave up the guides and leave it at that. Doesn't seem very fair to punish and deprive millions of other players around the world because of a silly lie that started half a decade ago. But that's just my opinion. Maybe I'll make a poll and leave it up to you guys. *shrug*

Now what do you have to say for yourself?
On behalf of all of us, a lot. Apologies to Sarah, first and foremost. I'm not sure why she was the iconic figure chosen, but I'm pretty sure there was no malicious intent. You can do a lot of evil things with the combination of anonymity and no consequence over the internet, but we made serious efforts to keep it straight, and we did. Imagining being in her shoes, I'd feel pretty pissed off about the whole thing, so whatever she says or feels we can understand, and she's completely validated. Condolences to any ill-will or negative effects this caused her. Best of luck to her and techdarling. May she make millions and donate to charity to continue saving the world, 'cause she's a sweetheart.

Likewise, apologies to all of the hundreds and thousands of people who stood up for any of us numerous Ferraros over the years. If they only knew they were defending a collective of players - the "idea" of Ferraro - rather than a singular person. I can tell you first hand it was sometimes heartbreaking to see such amazing people in game and on forums but then know inside that they were thinking of someone two, three, six Ferraros ago. It's an awful secret to hold on to, but the integrity of this blog had to hold out for as long as it could. In a less fucked up world, I would been able to say something, but alas, this blog is my responsibility right now. Please know that you shouldn't be embarrassed or feel ashamed of befriending any one of us; that really was a person talking in Vent and chatting with you late at night. That really was a true friend you made. It really was someone writing and sharing good, honest, accurate and powerful information in the form of personal, heartfelt, and Paladin advice. They just didn't last long. We've had to sever numerous friendships to keep this blog going. I've only been in the driver's seat for 5 months and I quickly realized that this Paladin Schmaladin machine had way more power than I even imagined. I never abused it's power of influence, but I still had to drive the car... even though it didn't have the original paint job, so to speak.

And finally, apologies to Retpaladin.com, whom the previous Ferraro was already instated with when I jumped aboard here. A lengthy email was sent to me from Ferraro #6 about everything I had to do and I just went with it. To make it official, Slayton, Mega, Hoff and everyone else from the Retpaladin team knew nothing of this debacle, so you don't have to wonder if they were "in on it" or anything. They weren't. Only seven people in the entire world knew about our system, and we all kept our mouths shut. But if the Retpaladin.com crew feels slighted and deceived, they have all the right in the world to. Again, for what it's worth, nothing spiteful was intended. This was all kinda dropped into my lap in January, but even the previous Ferraro was an angel about it and praised you guys. We all intended the best for everyone involved.

There was no trickery or ulterior motive in all of this. We didn't use the pictures to enhance any game play or get any special gifts from anyone. We never posted lewd or inappropriate photos. And we never, ever used them to create, start or continue any type of relationship outside of professional ones. Those were the rules. There's a reason why no one knows if Ferraro has a boyfriend or is married or has kids or not: we never discussed personal information.

The bottom line though, is that it's still a lie, and as the current author of the blog, I suppose I agreed and went along with it. So I'll take responsibility for my fellow past colleagues. As good intentioned as it was, it still a sin to lie (semi-Christian here), and even though we had no idea Paladin Schmaladin's popularity would explode to this global scale, I can't help but think there was probably a better way to go about this years ago before I was even around. Alas, I don't know the details of this blog's origins and I never will, but I hope everyone at some point forgives that deception. It was never meant to hurt anyone, only help by making an awesome blog with guides and humor that just happened to have a picture of some hot girl we never knew.

That said, there is no going back. There is no changing what happened. Only going forward. What happens now will be up to you, the readers, and a select few if I can contact them. With everything already in place and so many readers, I could hand this blog off to someone else (I have a few in mind) and let them continue the website. I'm sure he or she will feel like Obama taking over for a country that's in moral peril and in the middle of an economic downfall, but if they're brave enough to step up to the task, so be it. I would ask that you give them a clean slate, if possible. That would be ideal, but we can also completely understand if everyone feels so furious and betrayed that our inbox floods with death threats and hate mail. Reactions from either end of the spectrum - and every degree in between - is sympathized with and we wouldn't blame anyone in any way. You all have a right to be mad and there are no excuses, just reasons. Our heartfelt and sincere apologies to everyone.

*lights torch and raises pitchfork*
Look, think of Paladin Schmaladin as the Dread Pirate Roberts in the movie 'The Princess Bride.' The reason why he lasted so long was because it was actually dozens of different pirates over the the course of time. And whenever one retired, he simply passed his mask and sword to another pirate more qualified for the job and viola; The legend continued. That's what we did, kept passing the torch.

Same blog, different writers, all behind the same mask.

I knew it all along.
No you didn't. =*)

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